Marketing 101: Why Conservatives Always Lose

Conservatives are the biggest losers of the last half-century. Disagree?

Quick: name something they’ve conserved. I’ll wait.

Thankfully, this ideology is near death. It’s a terminal patient beyond sentience hanging on by a respirator of gym and airport TV sets and a morphine drip from weapons manufacturer lobbyists.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from its long track record of failure!

During the 1960s cultural and sexual revolution, “conservatism” and associated words exploded in popularity. So did “liberalism” and its cohorts.

For Conservatism, its forthcoming failure was assumed at birth, and it was named accordingly.

The Liberals would “progress” (i.e. win) and the Conservatives would hold on for dear life to whatever scraps of civilization they deemed important.

These Conservative ideologues drew a line in the sand just as the Progressive, Baby Boomer dust storm began its decades long, debt-ridden march through the political, media, judicial and military institutions of the West.

Liberals and Conservatives were two fingers on the same fist, forever punching left.

Like most monopolies, this political one stopped benefitting or responding to its customers, preferring to buy off its constituents with bread and circuses to be paid for by their children and grandchildren.

After several generations of Conservatives playing matador defense, they have nothing to show for it but the complete loss of everything which they supposedly held dear.

I don’t know what will come next, but Conservatism won’t be there.

Let us bury this failed ideology today and forever with an unmarked grave in an undecorated casket to be desecrated by vandals for its scrap metal value.

It won’t be remembered.

Let this be a lesson to us all:

Be careful what you name your children and your political ideologies.